last night i was at the mall buying some pants, i figured it was a good night considering it had snowed almost a foot through the afternoon and most people wouldn't drive
well i went to a store i don't usually shop at because it's a bit pricier, but i've been in the store a dozen times because my brother used to shop there, so i was familiar
the store is a bit odd since when you first walk in it's the female section, and in the back is male, walking through the female section there is a young woman there with blue highlights and a very pretty face, she has some acne, i didn't gather this until she looked at me, she had the unique model looks, if it wasn't for her height she most likely could've been a model
when she looks at me in the eye her shoulders, neck and head jolt back a bit, she must've found me attractive and i found her attractive too
not too long after i find her in the male section wandering, we make eye contact again, her head jolting
i got some socks, a winter hat, and a t-shirt, i go to the register and get my things paid through, i chat a bit with the cashier, there to my left i see the young woman again, again we make eye contact and her head jolts back
as i'm leaving she steps almost in front of me and stops, it would've been easy to stop myself and do some introductions
i keep walking though and don't even glance to my side, i'm walking out of the mall and realize i've avoided a lot of suffering once again
maybe she thought, " he shops here, he can shop for me here too ! "
some people are just ugly
jordan peterson gives some advice on how to be an effective starting therapist
i like what he has to say about using discrimination
jordan peterson summarizes his clinical practice dealings
The lesson most patients need to hear, he says, is “grow the hell up, accept some responsibility, live an honorable life.”
no highlights from jordan peterson's talk in westbury, ny that i attended, but an interview from a feminist who also attended
this nunnery is like an old people's home, but the old people do labor too !
the food looks ok, better than the zen centers i've been to
it is what it is what it is
just something i've said for a long time off of ' it is what it is '
my style isn't in my clothes
i’m often having these past memories that are usually remembered by a unique feeling that the memory has, each memory has a different feeling in my gut and the memories often happen around the same time, spread out through several days maybe
it’s usually something i’ve completely forgotten about but once the feeling happens then i remember it clearly
then some time will pass and i’ll forget it again, i think i should start writing these down because they can easily be forgotten forever
' everyone makes mistakes ' is how the cliche goes
but if you're lucky you see it was a mistake, and you learn from it
there's probably something past luck, some insightful skill you have to hone
i went for a run today, it really brought me out of depression
i didn't work today, but i'm feeling like work might not be enough exercise
i do lifting of sometimes hundred pound dogs, i am getting some back so i'll have to learn how to lift them properly !
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while running i thought what probably kept me from a heavier depression in my teenage years and even younger was that i was playing soccer so often
i don't get too upset if no one reads my writing, i think it's good and if no one else thinks so then that's ok
the godfather
" i think you got hit by the thunderbolt "
longer version, no subtitles
you can tell you're talking to a sensible person when they don't immediately react negatively, instead they listen, think, and then respond
a positive about being a beta orbiter is that it gives you time to think, do i really want to get involved with this woman ?
dr. phil and autistic bullying
pt. 2
after being sick with a virus for a couple weeks i've looked at myself in the mirror this morning and i look better, 10th of october 2018
scotty thinks honda makes better engines than toyota !
toyota tends to have other companies design their engines, though they often own percentages of that company e.g. yamaha
i was by a coworker if i wanted to go to the movies with a bunch of people from work
i just stared at her thinking, another coworker says " you know, not responding can be seen as rude "
i don't mean to be rude, i guess i have to be more communicative and let them know that i am thinking
shutting down early
thinking about women, work, my day
i love that
something clicked while watching this emma thompson video, something about being more easy-going
another offer to be moderator, this time from brittany's real life best friend
i told her i couldn't, that i'm using her to ween myself off streaming
more sane than brittany in a lot of ways, too bad she's on so many medications !
i had met a coworker's son, he seemed to be autistic to me
a week or so later a commercial comes onto the radio while at work, talking about autism and its' symptoms
my coworker gets visibly upset, mocking the commercial loudly to myself and another worker
when i met her son again we got along very well, he lead me to the animals so we could go feed them, he would show me his gameboy where he was playing 'pokemon'
he reminds me of myself at his age, 6, always going to the animals and playing pokemon on my gameboy .. so naturally we get along !
although my coworker is in her early fifties this is her first and only child, i'm sure it wasn't easy for my mother either even with two children before me !
i’m walking by a pretty female coworker who has nice hair, she’s having trouble reaching something
she asks me, “ hey, are you tall ? “ i size her up and she’s only a couple inches shorter than me
i say jokingly, “ do i look tall to you ? “
she responds “ i know, i just wanted to see how you’d react ! “
classic shit test and she even admits it
andrew's comment
my final words to streaming and brittany
the circle ends here for me
after this i got a lot of backlash from the jealous beta orbiters, i told them they need to work on their social skills !
the writing is coming back to me, i'm not sure why
i once wrote about being at a party, this guy starts telling me almost out of the blue as i'm standing in front of him " i took an iq test, i tested 125 so i'm considered a genius "
so i responded, " yeah well i'm one of the most genius people in the world ! "
he said, " i'm not sure about in the world . . "
my friend then asked me later, " you were joking, right ? " so i said i was
after i met brittany i did an interview with her online and she asked " why do you think you're more intelligent than me ?! "
i didn't respond because one of her moderator boyfriends cut in so i wasn't given a chance to
it reminds me of this poem by charles bukowski
high maintenance
low reward
i find with a lot of music i'm not very interested in the lyrics or the singer but the beats themselves
my brother decided to let his friend put all his friend's stuff in the garage here, where i sometimes park the car and have been doing work on my car
basically he called me four hours ago and made it an idea, i let him know i was at work and i didn't want his friend to do that because i'm doing work on my car soon .. and besides storage space is not that expensive
well he does it while i'm at work basically a couple hours after we end the call and i open the garage and i'm just pissed
a couple weeks ago he left some money that he owed on the kitchen table for my other brother, when my eldest brother opened the envelope it was short $200 .. he gives that idea to my oldest brother that maybe it was me that took the money
i know that isn't true because more than ten years ago my brother owed his friend's family $200, well he left two bottles of wine on the friend's porch and said he left the money in the mailbox .. well there was no money in the mailbox when his friend checked and my brother claimed that someone must've stole it. they were basically not friends after that
everyone wants a selfless boss
but they don’t make themselves rich by being selfless
nerites : i make the worst choices, i'm gonna be honest
i feel like i put myself in bad situation like, just for fun
scotty kilmer on u.s. used car prices
putting my thyroid drops on my wrist has given better results rather than drinking them
if ice poseidon found a treasure chest, he'd spend it on his girlfriend caroline burt
Any female that's surrounded by so many 'beta orbiters' is definitely a red flag. Even though she didn't invent the idea I do applaud Brittany for making money off of the fucking idiots.
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