the ' lone gum tree ' , andrew's home

andrew criticizes sepehr and zakaj for not being happy with their relationships, a haymaker K-O !









andrei tarkovsky polaroids

i was thinking about buying the book the polaroids were originally published in, then i figured why would i when it's free online ?








dave asked me why i included so much poop talk in my blog entry "the hermit in mass", well it was partly a homage to charles bukowski, it was also because the constipation was bothering me while i was there








i wonder if andrei tarkovsky was poisoned, his diagnosis was lung cancer, but both his wife and an actor that participated in his films were poisoned as well






getting up every 15 minutes has made meditation much more tolerable

even thinking about getting a kneeling chair when i have the money, although i'm a little skeptical because when i sat seiza style my knees did not hold up well







this video helped me understand andrei tarkovsky more








it'd be helpful if reddit had a 'follow' feature to keep track of certain people's comments and submissions











a poem i quickly wrote on r/zen, rewriting from memory


laying on my hammock
radiator hissing
mother sick downstairs
why worry about my original face,
when i have this one right here










two worlds

one real                   one unreal

both a

mystery

Don’t tell it anyone — ever,

Forget all you have seen — 

A prison, an old woman, a bird

Or anything of that kind,

Lest, should you open your mouth

At dawn or in broad daylight,

You’ll be stricken at once 

By a rapid coniferous fever.

You’ll remember a country-side wasp,

A student’s pencil-box

Or forest blueberries

Which you never picked up.

~ o.m.




Through the ether of ten-digit zeroes 
The light of speeds ground down to a ray
Starts a number, made lucent and clear
By the bright pain of moth-eaten holes and moles.
And a new battlefield beyond the field of fields
Flies like a triangular flock of cranes,
The news flies like a new light-dust,
And it’s bright from the yesterday’s fight.
The news flies like a new light-dust:
I am not Leipzig, not Waterloo,
Not the Battle of Nations — I am new,
I will dazzle the world with my light. 
Arabian mess, mash and hash,
The light of speeds ground down to a ray —
And trampling my retina with its squint soles,
The beam flattens the apple of my eye.

~ osip mandelstam 

there's a lot to see with the internet

i used to be a big time tv watcher until i figured out how to use the web

it's sometimes tough to see the craziness until you're out of it






tv culture, internet culture

bacterial culture, societal culture






zakaj's video of of nanzen-ji







chard does not digest well

another video with father lazarus and the monastery he's affiliated with









i have some sort of caring for people even though they treat me badly








i thought naked was a pretty good film, it won a couple cannes nominations, cannes seems to be entirely more interesting than the oscars
seems like one of the characters is a direct inspiration for the film 'American psycho'







john fante, a writer .. and loss of vision








i could ask question after question
but i'm sort of considerate





if you have a sharp tongue you got to watch what you say around people






showed another woman friend of mine the story of the woman and the dog, she says she's been constantly thinking about it, says she doesn't know what she wants, but i know what she wants !

she also overheard me saying something to another woman friend of mine, about how once there's one breakup, it's over ! of course this thought is attributed to andrew








i'm always thinking of what charles bukowski said in that interview, that the lines have to have juice, have to have a fire in each line

bim bim bim
bim bim bim







andrew writes:
did buddha exist historically, did jesus exist historically, did muhammad exist historically ?

or are they fictitious characters who are unreal amalgams of characteristics that cannot exist together in one person because the metals won't join ?

my reply:

the amount of people who believe the bullshit  








am i too nice ?






i think part of the reason i played so many video games growing up is because i'm used to living in another world

most people don't have a clue what's going on in their mind, let alone mine

i've been saying for a while now that eating unhealthfully, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, are all forms of hating yourself/suicide

this girl i know will be walking with a book right up to her face while walking down one of the busiest roads around here, my only explanation is unconscious suicide


andrew's reply :

"autistic spectrum" hyperlexic, probably good peripheral vision for movement as well !