a pretty young woman, 18
and then you get to know her personality, it's not that great, but maybe i'm judging too quickly
i’m at work chatting with a customer and her daughter, i’m engraving a tag for them and the little girl is interested in how the machine works
when the tag is done i overhear her mother advising her to rest today because she has to go to school tomorrow
i mention that i’ve not been feeling well today
i also say how i went to the arboretum and before i finish she goes “ oh, we went too ! “ they say about two weeks ago, same time as me, they also did a tour inside the house just like me
i say how i think one of the old ladies got me sick, she says it might just be the same person who got us sick with this virus
a friend, who does not do any drugs, but has a bad sleep schedule due to work and gaming, says his memory is getting worse from the sleep deprivation
i've never heard of this type of racing
it's fun, until they crash
noctua air coolers outperform water coolers both in performance and sound
i've learned that around here you have to pay $10 to get places that are worthwhile, if you don't want to drive too far
walking outside this old mansion i caught a passing scent that i hadn't smelled in a long time, it was a familiar smell from when i was around 6 and often walked through a garden of a lady my mother used to work for
i'm not sure what plant it was and i didn't investigate, maybe a hydrangea ?
inside the mansion there were many old women, and an old man, who acted as tour guides
one old woman, in her mid to late eighties i'd say, spoke to me up close and i felt my eyes start to water and this sickly feeling passed through me, i was mostly trying to get away from her but she gave some good information i suppose
if i haven't got enough sleep when i wake up, i'm now going to make a rule for myself not to get out of bed until i fall asleep again and sleep more
i'm working at a pet store right now and the "boss" is pretty cool
she told me how there are some friends you grow up with or make that you have to let go
that a lot of these people she was friendly with are dead now, they were suicidal
i know people like that too, living suicidal lifestyles killing themselves with alcohol or drugs
traveling to iran would be cool, i hear it's cheap and safe
i like to travel so something like this will happen
i was at a friend's and i was slouching a lot throughout the night
when i started leaving and in was in the elevator i could tell how tense my back was from slouching
when i got outside i corrected my posture to be up straight and i felt better
standing up straight isn't just about formalities, it's also optimal for health
i go to the beach often now and more times than not i see no one else there, or maybe one or two people
i'd say there's at least two and a half million people, most likely more, within a half hour driving from the beach
when summer time comes around then forget going to the beach, it's infested with people
i'm seeing more and more how staying in your hometown is more comfortable and easier than moving
i had to go to the village hall and get some sort of birth certificate, all the secretary asked me was " were you born at [the local hospital] ? i said " yes " and that's all she had to know
fernando pessoa was an advocate for seeing the beauty in where you live
he was from lisbon and things were probably were more pretty there then when there were less people
now i see long island as having its good features, just at times you have to drive away from all the people and get to the secluded parts
salomé by jean benner
i wonder who she's serving it to ?
i've been putting the shower head to my thyroid while having it on hot, it helps definitely in the moment to stimulate the thyroid
andrew comments
btw i think your recent homilies are lacking the usual depth, not quite worked through or sorted out enough, a bit glib so to speak
i knew this already, you can just tell when some piece of writing isn't as good
the pizzeria owners son-in-law is a pretty big loser, delivers for him and uses his cars
i went to the village office to get a copy of my birth certificate and on my way back i see several police cars with their lights on
then i see the son-in-law, and then i see the owner's son's jeep wrangler which isn't more than 3 years old
he t-boned a small hyundai and it looked worse than it was because it was a hyundai
the jeep had some bumper damage but you might not look twice if it weren't for the police officers
the thing is that the body of the jeep holds up well in accidents, but the engine itself still has small components, plastic, and is precisely engineered so when an accident like that happens it still messes it up
jeep was bought out by fiats almost ten years ago and they're even worse now than when chrysler bought them
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weird day, i pass by the local 7-11 and this black guy is first first on the ground, handcuffed with multiple officers around him, he's sort of struggling, must've been on drugs
and the other day the local gas station had these three hoodlums pull up who were clearly up to no good
i don't see this stuff hardly ever at all
the only other moment i can remember is when i was young, maybe 13 or 12, i was with my mother walking through a seedier part of town and i swear i saw this guy with a concealed pistol
when i met with stevepitbull the first time i looked in my car's rearview mirror as i was leaving, my pupils were fine
when i met dave from r/zen the first time, my pupils looked the same
i've read that when pupils are large it means you're taking in more information
a loud voice vs a quiet one
there are advantages to both, the quiet one being you save more energy
lol, i know too many people like this
a couple together, they're not in love and never have been, and she knows it
the closest they'll ever be to being truly together is in the form of a chid
and even then they're not together, nor in love
a problem with being charismatic is that people would rather look at your charisma rather than what you're actually saying
when a person or a couple takes a photo in front of a scenic view i just think, " wow this would be so much better without them in it "
levDogonapillow
slavoj zizek commented on d.t. suzuki in his discourse with jordan peterson tonight
what's that going to do to real life zen ? it's like kicking a dead horse !
i don't need those sex predating, war criminal buddhists anyway, or their "dharma" heirs !
oh and zizek and peterson ?
they'll go back to their wives, and maybe they'll talk about their children !
me ? i'm by myself, not lonely, not thrilled either !
it's normal in eastern countries to slap students in a teaching scenario
that's why you hear stories of slapping in zen
take a trip around transnistria and kishinev, moldova
level 1
i was reading eckhart tolle's books, he was quoting hakuin and others affiliated with zen, they were making more sense than eckhart !
funny enough i had the same blood technician as the last time i donated, it was even at a different location .. the new york blood center moves their employees around
anyway he says he remembers me from last time, december 2018
iron levels went down from 18 to 16, and blood pressure was my normal about at 110/80
he just had a baby and so i wished him congratulations, he asks if i have children, i say no and i hope i won't, he asks why and i say "it's too much"
he says life is about being too much, and about leaving a legacy, which is true that you want to leave a legacy
maybe my legacy will be my writing
i often let new trends play out themselves, and if they last then i'll follow the trend
if they die out before i get to follow, then i haven't lost energy in the process
i consider all avenues, because you have to at least consider it to find out if it's false or not
just because i don't rat people out doesn't mean they'll appreciate it and not rat me out !
sometimes i’m smart, sometimes i’m an idiot
sometimes i’m a genius, sometimes i’m retarded
sometimes i’m alpha, sometimes i’m beta
sometimes i’m a hard worker, and sometimes i’m lazy
i cover a lot of bases
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i originally came up with the first line, then the next, and the last couple two
maybe just the first line is good enough
i have a bunch of people i know who have moved to new york city in their early twenties
i think they just want to party and all of that and they wouldn't get away with it at their parent's house
me, i don't care to party and i don't bother my father too much so he says i can stay as long as i want
------------------------------------------------------------------------
another friend of mine is working in the city, but his parents bought him an apartment with a view of the beach 30 minutes south of here
it's a 50 minute train ride into the city where he works, which isn't so bad considering he isn't driving there and can fall asleep on the train
it's depression he should hate, not his life, it's depression making him hate his life
if they don’t laugh
they don’t get it
i don't care if coffee will make me move quicker, make me talk quicker, or whatever else might be seen as beneficial in a work environement
i'm not drinking it
people are like cars, extra weight means they'll wear out faster !
i'd rather be an asshole than an idiot
-------------------------------------------
i can't give a disclaimer to everything i say
i'm not a troll because what i write is meant to be constructive
or deconstructive, whichever way you want to look at it
who knows, who cares ?
one of the advantages of online video players is how easy it is to rewind if you want to watch something over again
i disconnected my car battery and when i reconnected it, the car radio asked for a code to get it going again
honda made it difficult to get the code to prevent theft i guess
well i just don't care to put in the effort to get the radio going again, i sort of prefer it off completely
steve pitbull looking for a worker
" i don't need a know it all asshole
i don't need a know nothing asshole
i don't need assholes at all, because i have one
and shit comes out of it, i don't want assholes because shit comes out of assholes "
religious organizations will help the poor, but will only continue to do so if they believe the religious bullshit
a comic strip made by charles bukowski
i saved each individual picture to my computer
deepak chopra gives some practical advice on falling asleep easier
i don't recommend counting your breaths every night, that's a quick trip to insanity
i picked up kacent a half hour away so we could get dinner together, we drove back to a place 15 mins north of where i live
kacent forgot her phone and didn't bring money when she left her house
i picked her up at 3:30 and then her boyfriend said he was going to sleep at 8
i told her to leave so early, not to leave from where the restaurant is, to come back to hometown and leave from there or take the train from there, i even offered her some money for her way home
hey boyfriend said he was going to sleep at 8 and if she wanted a lyft or uber home then he would order one and then go to sleep, so she took him up on his offer
well the lyft driver pulled up and i confirmed it was a real driver because he had a sign in his car
on her way home, with no phone, this costa rican driver starts calling her beautiful, asking her about her sex life, about her body, touched her legs and hands, asked her what she liked and how he could please her
i was wondering if i should've just drove her home but she didn't take my advice either
at the same time if i'm picking her up and driving her away maybe i have to drive her back ? i asked her if it was my fault for not driving her home and she said " Of course its not "
when the lyft driver pulled up he jumped out of his seat a bit and his head jerked back when i looked at him, but i figured she would be ok
apparently sex offenders are often hired by these online cab companies because they don't do background checks or overlook certain crimes
at the end of the ride he was telling her not to leave and she asked for his name and phone number
she filed a report with lyft and is thinking of filing a police report
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kacent recounts the injury done to her
first fourteen minutes of the video
drug and relationship therapy between vietnam veterans
everyone has a bad side or has done wrong, no one's perfect
i'd like to visit the acores, maybe one day but this video will do for now
what do women see when they look at a man who lifts weights ?
a strong man ?
or someone sacrificing his body ?
then they think, " what else is he willing to sacrifice for me ? "
i point out that it seems that you're borderline personality disorder
that's enough to push you to the edge
bpd retaliates
i find people from the united kingdom to be irritating
the most beautiful woman i'd ever seen was when i stopped at a full service gas station
i pulled up to the stall and told the guy the octane, sat there for a handful of seconds and then i looked to my right and i saw a skinny, young, really beautiful as i said, blonde
maybe she was wearing make up, maybe she had hair extensions
anyway, we both caught each other's eyes at the same time and we were both shocked, head jolted back, that sort of thing, she was caught off guard and i couldn't take my eyes off of her for a little while
she drove a mercedes, as beautiful women often do
i don't want a mercedes, but i'd like to be able to afford one
i drove a bmw back then, much more flashy than my car today
in a way it's sort of sad that i'll never see her again
the night before thanksgiving is a big 'drinking night' here in america, and a couple holidays ago i went to a local bar since a lot of people i hadn't seen for a while were going to be there
i drove my friend and her boyfriend there
at the end of the night i planned on driving those two and another friend of mine who was a volunteer firefighter
another volunteer firefighter was there, old guy in his fifties, he was plastered drunk, never seen him before or heard of him
it was getting late and he had been somewhat flirting with my female friend at one point, maybe until he saw her six foot three inch boyfriend
well we're getting ready to go and he says " yeah i'll just take a ride from you "
and i saw that my female friend was uncomfortable, especially since she'd be sitting in the back of my small car with him
so i told him no
of course being plastered drunk he was very aggressive and my volunteer friend held him back as i could see he wanted to fight me bad, he says " fuck you " or something and maybe another thing
later my volunteer friend told me he would've killed me
that was seeing entitlement in real life
it’s not fairies and unicorns out here
you’re much more likely to catch a sunset
and that’s what separates me from most in the “spiritual” circuit, i keep it real
you don’t have to fight for someone’s attention
give them a chance or two and if they’re unreceptive, move on
otherwise you’re degrading yourself
no exercise i.e. sedentary, eats like crap, gets bad sleep with shifting sleep schedule
is it really a surprise to feel like shit ?
" Behind rigidity there is always something hidden, in many cases a double life." Pope francis
is winter over now ?
thank christ
i had a voice chat with wastedtime420 yesterday, he's ok, he was doing poetry and playing guitar mixing the two together
the thai monk joined for a couple minutes, started preaching about not being attached and that sort of thing, wastedtime said he sounded like a book, i thought he sounded like dave but i was just laughing
from r/choosingbeggars
i could post the whole subreddit almost
it's incredible how entitled people are today
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and yeah the problem just comes down to entitlement people think they're entitled when they're not entitled to shit
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i remember i was at the taco bell at penn station years ago and this homeless guy approached me and my friends cuz we stood out like a sore thumb he asked for " money please i'm so hungry ", and i had a couple extra tacos so i offered them to him, and then he starts saying how he doesn't eat that and he'd prefer money then a couple ladies just started yelling from the other table saying he just wants money for drugs and he gave them a stare and walked away
ever wonder where the really pretty women are ?
they're with rich men
originality is zen
zen is not about entertainment
i was thinking the other day, don't ask 'why' 'what' 'how' if you can figure it out yourself it's more a general rule of thumb
" k "
a letter of a man who has given up
a short documentary on a modern day executioner
lithium carbonate water is like magic water
the way it gets rid of anxiety is incredible
7-Up's original recipe included lithium, the drink was originally called " Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda "
a good article on low-dose lithium supplementation !
" Lithium has been known for its curative powers for centuries, if not millenniums. Lithia Springs, Ga., for example, with its natural lithium-enriched water, appears to have been an ancient Native American sacred site. By the late 19th century Lithia Springs was a famous health destination visited by Mark Twain and Presidents Grover Cleveland, William Howard Taft, William McKinley and Theodore Roosevelt. "
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the article brought up a good point, health professionals don't prescribe it because it is so cheap !
the rule for drug dealers is " don't get high on your own supply "
bu they almost always do
i could imagine being rich, i'd probably be happier and it would solve a lot of problems
but there's a deeper meaning to life
no, it's not having children although that could be an answer
the thing about leaving toxic people behind is you don't miss them when they're gone !
march 18th on long island new york
i went into the woods and got sidetracked onto a deer trail, i found two small ticks climbing on my clothes
there have still been freezing temperatures, like this morning and last night, but there hasn't been a deep freeze in a while, that explains the ticks
you sound like a broken record
you sound like a corrupted audio file !
i've been called boring by some people in the streaming scene, for my life choices
i don't find myself boring, i don't find my mind boring
“I wasn't a misanthrope and I wasn't a misogynist but I liked being alone. It felt good to sit alone in a small space and smoke and drink. I had always been good company for myself.” charles bukowski
the people who call me boring live ordinary lives, and i find that boring
" Wow, it's Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?" Well, yeah. Because there's nothing out there. It's stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I've never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn't want to hide in factories. That's all. Sorry for all the millions, but I've never been lonely. I like myself. I'm the best form of entertainment I have. "
i like myself tooand there really isn't anything boring about infinity, just some people don't know what it's about
i'm not really out to entertain other people
i was looking through r/nicegirls and i saw there were a lot of memes about sherry argov's " why men love bitches "
it' interesting to get a take on the opposite sex
i've heard some of this before, and some of it is new
“The person who is least dependent on the outcome of the relationship will automatically draw the other person in.”
“Standing up for yourself doesn’t always involve verbal confrontation. Sometimes it’s about not wasting energy on people who are negative.”
“Women are conditioned to give themselves away.”
“Anytime a woman competes with another woman she demeans herself.”
“When you meet someone who is truly great, he makes you believe you can be great, too. This is the kind of relationship you want, and it's the only kind of relationship worth having.”
“Before sex, a man isn't thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and a woman isn't.”
“Many people lack the basic equipment to be in a relationship and there's nothing you can do to change it. You can't take a skunk and dip it in perfume and hope it becomes a puppy. Eventually, the perfume will wear off and you'll still have a skunk on your hands.”
“You always want what you can’t have.”
“Men control the world, but women control the men.”
“If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.”
bad sleep and does drugs
it explains the schizophrenia pretty well
in a near death expierence, the world may open up to you
in an enlightment dia-kensho experience, the world and infinity opens up to you
how to deal with an unagreeable and aggressive schizophrenic :
you do you
i'll do me
AS strange as it sounds I am not a social justice warrior but I lean centre-left.
i don't really know where my political situation is, i don't care for modern day politics because i just see repetition through historysome messages are redacted from the below conversation
I got it.. we cna shill him on gamefaqs forumsBeatrice blew up because her community shilled her on 4chan back in day and it workedI got it.. we cna shill him on gamefaqs forumsI'm gonna shill you on redditgamefaqs forums watch other peoples stuff and it appeals to gamersWe could easily shill a thread and be like "this guy has video walkthroughs via streaming on twitch"He shows glitches in DMC
We can make up some b.s. to get people to watch to see if you are glitching in devil may cryapex legends is the new trend fortnite is deadthat's interesting intern, first time i'm hearing thatif he was gonna jump on the sellout wagon it would be APEX LEGENDSabout beatriceyeah I was there when she was lollipopninjaI was under another alias still the same old spammy internwhat are those transparent platforms?when she had a smaller community I asked her permission if we could make a thread about her on 4chan to help her out and she agreed to itoh ok, so you did some work for herand so other people were shilling and spamming the thread we made we would make a bunch of threads b.sing to 4chan about her and people believed she was dumb she wasn't dumb she was smart I was bored one day on twitch found lollipopninja aka beatrice and she was playing games doing a character and messing around with her close friends/ community and when 4chan raided her she blew up lolbrittany has never spoken about this
it shows how much women care for your efforts
one time i promoted a beach soccer tournament, my brother and i went to a soccer convention where i got close to a hundred or more email addresses and phone numbers as well
then later on before the tournament i sent about four mass emails spaced apart, and i did some calling for several days
the first day i was feeling very confident that many people (mostly coaches i was calling ) would accept and bring their teams
the second day i was not feeling confident that people would say yes, i even told my brother this as he was co-hosting the tournament and i was calling in his office
i was thinking about this the other day, and i realized it wasn't a lack of something in myself that made the second day people say no, but that since i already had so many people say yes on the first day i didn't need anymore people to say yes on the second day of calling
i don't necessarily blame hard drug users
the drugs have altered their brain structure and that's to blame for their stupid actions !
“song for this softly-sweeping sorrow…”
By Charles Bukowski
By Charles Bukowski
one must arise
above all this shit,
above all this shit,
keep growing…
destiny is only a whore if we make her
so.
let’s light lights
let’s suffer in the grand style —
toothpick in mouth, grinning.
we can do it.
we were born strong and we will die
strong.
the manner of our living
like ocean liners in the fog…
thorns on roses…
blasé boys trotting the parks in swim suits…
it has been very
good.
our bones
like stems into the sky
will forever cry
victory.
destiny is only a whore if we make her
so.
let’s light lights
let’s suffer in the grand style —
toothpick in mouth, grinning.
we can do it.
we were born strong and we will die
strong.
the manner of our living
like ocean liners in the fog…
thorns on roses…
blasé boys trotting the parks in swim suits…
it has been very
good.
our bones
like stems into the sky
will forever cry
victory.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
and a story of when bukowski [wrestled](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/7bwgqq/secret-buke)
it wasn't published, even though it's good
i don't know what it is, come night time i'm on fire
meaning i'm in some elevated state, i often write at night
new game, new underwear
that's the gaming lifestyle
a hacker can be pretty malicious with just the wifi and access to the usb
i was going to first say dementiated, and then i googled and remembered it was demented
when i was younger i would say demented often, but it slipped away
the future is flexible screens
now all they need to do is fit a screen around a phone that runs windows 10
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. GET OVER YOURSELF. TURBOVIRGIN BETA CUCK.
ReplyDeletecomment was left anonymously so they'll probably never see this response !
Deleteprobably someone on some hard drugs, upset about .. ?