people don't want to talk about anything real
they'd rather gossip instead
haven't had vitamin k in a week or so and it's shown itself as depressive symptoms
the more time that goes by the more i realize enlightenment isn't some super-state
you don't become very happy and you don't start doing things very well
i'm crazy but i don't cheat people
men and women are equally insane in their own way
andrew :
the number of people about with drug induced semantic pragmatic processing difficulties !
andrew :
young men, they love themselves and their mothers love them , but no-one else does ?
old men
more intelligent than
young men
but still very stupid
i was thinking of joining a local soccer team, i heard from an old teammate that our old soccer trainer also plays on that team
he must be nearing forty if not past forty
my trainer fouled someone during a game and the young guy he fouled called him old, so my trainer decided to punch him hard in the face enough so that the young guy started to cry
nah i don't want to get involved with that !
i'm sitting in the way back corner of the restaurant by myself
a waitress walks over and she sits down, ive known her since she was pretty young and i've figured she's been half interested in me for a while
she says " i just broke up with my boyfriend ", i could tell that was going to happen cuz she was posting pictures of herself and of her going out on snapchat
so i said " oh ? " i look back down at my book and she picks it up and reads " owls do cry " and she laughs a little
i go back to reading and look up for a second and she gives me a bit of a surprised look and says " i'm bored, ill let you read your book "
i think i'll go tell her in going to portugal soon
parent's home town in portugal
driving in portugal is a different world to me
my mother would often say " it's not your fault it's mine " or " i don't know who you learned that from " " you learned that from your father "
because it's obvious to you it doesn't mean it's obvious to someone else !
there are many, many who are not right
some that are half right
and very few that are right
it's just a show for a lot of women
how expensive is their dinner they were brought to, where and how often are they vacationing, how big a wedding ring, what car did her husband get her, what designer clothes are their children wearing . .
english speakers don't have a monopoly on quality writing !
how much do people steal from me ?
a lot, they hardly notice and if they do they're not grateful !
TGIP
thank god i'm poor
" how have you managed to stay celibate ? "
be crazy !
oh and be poor !
older women
once younger and prettier
andrew's reply :
older women
i've had a girl come to me saying she was bulimic, another who said she thought she was a whore
this was around when i was thirteen years old, i didn't know what to say and all i did was listen !
i can understand why people become bulimic, sometimes i eat something and i seriously regret it !
" I'm doing my own thing "
not me and you thing !
love for women
love for an unadulterated solo life
she's upset with me
and i can only imagine giving her a hug
for a moment she's pleased
at the restaurant where i work
" jason it's so nice outside ! "
there's been a full moon !
" a full moon ? that explains what's going on around here ! "
i hardly ever feel like i'm my age
either i'm acting like a child, beyond my years, or just some years off
the world is full of fuckers
what's most important to them is fucking
why do people like to talk about me ?
i guess they find me more interesting than their own selves !
i haven't been writing publicly as much recently, just my actions have been elsewhere
i don't know how marijuana has all these positive marijuana fallacies exist, that it doesn't cause brain damage, that it's not addictive etc
i didn't believe it then i believed it and now i don't believe them again
andrew :
the blind men think
me :
i go to work and all the men are so egotistical, they know it all except really they don't
what i like in new movies are the developing special effects, of course the story line is hardly ever interesting in big hollywood movies
i worked 9 hours at the restaurant making deliveries today
i got off 12 minutes ago and remembered i didn't turn on the radio once
andrew :
jason, you are like me, too easily absorbed into other peoples lives
home to the philistines !
i think i get treated unfairly
and if i point out that i get treated unfairly then the demons start to come out of other people
i was always looking for someone to tell my stories to, i ended up finding the internet to accomplish just that
laying on my bed
thinking in and outside of myself
i don't know what will happen in five minutes
and i'm still trying to figure it out
i wondered where zakaj and sepehr had been, they were making use of their time elsewhere (cryptocurrency) !
i'm pretty bad at remembering names, especially if i think i won't meet you again past the day we met !
being broke fucking sucks !
you're somewhere with your thinking
and i'm somewhere else with mine
you're somewhere with your thinking
and i'm somewhere else
i daydream, imagining things that will just never happen
that's fun
me :
that's basically meditation
i try to see more of reality
women can spend so much time everyday getting their make up on, doing their hair, etc.
since their number one priority is breeding it's not a big deal for them !
i'm not someone to keep on the back-log
i'm not someone to keep on the main-log
played soccer last thursday, it seems like people at least subtly know that heading the ball is concussive
whenever the offensive team has a corner, no one wants to defend our goal which usually involves heading the ball away
they're less avoidant on an offensive corner but still there's reluctance to head the ball
i just jump out of both boxes when there's a corner, i played 40 minutes and only once lightly head the ball but i even regret that
i went to the grocery store today and outside of work it's where i see the most people on a weekly basis
anyway i'm just looking around at produce and the grocery store usually has a higher proportion of women
there's this youngish one a bit taller than me with darker brown hair wearing yoga pants and she's clearly the best looking woman in the store at the moment, we make eye contact for a second but i'm just trying to buy food and get out of there
so i'm looking at some blueberries and there's a bit of a jam with the shopping carts and people where i'm trying to get around and she's trying to get around so i just stood there waiting for her to make a move
she goes around the stack of food and gets so close to me i can feel the heat of her body, she had more room to not get so close
yeah that happens every once in a while, a woman gets so close you can feel the heat coming off of them
andrew :
anyway i'm just looking around at produce and the grocery store usually has a higher proportion of women
there's this youngish one a bit taller than me with darker brown hair wearing yoga pants and she's clearly the best looking woman in the store at the moment, we make eye contact for a second but i'm just trying to buy food and get out of there
so i'm looking at some blueberries and there's a bit of a jam with the shopping carts and people where i'm trying to get around and she's trying to get around so i just stood there waiting for her to make a move
she goes around the stack of food and gets so close to me i can feel the heat of her body, she had more room to not get so close
yeah that happens every once in a while, a woman gets so close you can feel the heat coming off of them
andrew :
aristotle was alexander the great's tutor and corresponded with him later in life, there was obviously a strong bond and influence there
a little more than a century later, the terracotta warriors were heavily influenced in style by greek statuary and seven to eight hundred years from the height of alexander's empire the indo-grecian bodhidharma started a new religion based on the aristotelian sophistical and anti-dogmatic rhetorical style in china
re: car
Nothing against you, but that article by Nabokov pissed me off. I'm probably going to avoid his books in the future, but he definitely doesn't resonate with me. I think the reason he didn't like Dostoevsky is he doesn't like it when people speak with the intensity of their personal feelings and experiences. When Dostoevsky speaks, you get that sense he's talking from his own personal experiences, trying to bring you to experiencing something he too had whereas with that article by Nabokov he's just making fun of people, pointing to no source of betterment.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, that article by Nabokov was one of the most narcissistic things I've ever read. The reason it's narcissistic is because, unlike Schopenhauer's article about how think for yourself, Nabokov leaves no advice on how not to be a philistine. He just acts with a detachment and sense of irony mocking everyone with some sadistic pleasure. He's the kind of man that could use a punch in the face. He was a reader, not a thinker / contemplative person, at least I get that sense from that article.