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Sunday, July 24, 2016


[–]zaddar1 [+108]7th zen patriarch[F] 1 point  
wait to be caught be she-death, is that figurative ?
[–]zenthrowaway17 1 point  
wait to be caught be she-death, is that figurative ?
Figurative.
Death is not a man or woman in a black robe.
Unless there is a guy behi...
looks around in a circle
























fill your head with garbage

and do garbage things

it's no wonder

you

feel

like

garbage















the rest trying to be like the few !

it's bad when the few try to be like the rest !


















i think i'm still in a suburban way of thinking and it will be some years until i move out of that

what can i expect when i've been raised in suburbia and dragged through the public school system ?


















how much did you enjoy your career ?

how much of a career is " get in, get out " ?

























when you take heavy views, you can expect heavy criticism !


andrew's
rephrase
when you give voice to  “ heavy views ” ,  you can expect heavy criticism
or
 you can think it but not say it !
 i think i learnt to shut up years ago when everything i said seemed to cause a ruckus !



me :

yep, i learned long ago to keep my mouth shut !


















radiation received on mars !




















time lapse of earth from the ISS



















i worked with a drug addict while working pizza delivery

this guy was always on edge, and definitely high some of the time

he was intelligent actually, i think drugs activate different parts of the brain ?

anyway, i always felt like he could turn at any second, and once he did when a guy behind the counter was moving pizza boxes and was in his way, maybe they had some past beef but he started getting really angry, screaming curse words in the middle of the lunch time rush and walked out in a huff just because this guy was in his way






























the man at the farmer's market thinks i'm a strange strange boy for asking him to bring me 3 quarts of heavy cream !



















been dealing with this recently




















a problem with damaged women is they'll have damaged friends


















what's past entertainment ?

what's beyond entertainment ?













Dogonapillow   
sometimes i'll write something and i know it has meaning, but i am not sure what it means, i think with time they will reveal themselves to me




















cursed

in my own world

i do not understand

the illusion

of community































  • lol, why should andrew be nice and sweet ? especially when sepehr is coming off like he knows how reading should be done ?
    Delete
  • OK but why does insulting him accomplish?
  • what does being nice accomplish ?
    Delete












    • talking to a coworker :

    we are the poverty ! there's not many people below us in the u.s. !


    " i think i'm going to cry ! "













    nothing is worth getting a tick bite














    [–]ewk [-7] 0 points  
    You keep pretending that the stuff you make up is somehow relevant. It's not honest, also it's a little boring, like the child does the same finger painting over and over and tells everyone that each is a different master piece.
    [–]ewk [-7] 1 point  
    There aren't any "censored" zaddar posts, don't be silly.
    At most there are posts that zaddar lost control of and somebody had to clean up after him because he can't follow the reddiquette.
    [–]ewk [-7] 0 points  
    What you think is funny isn't really a bench mark that you can reason with.
    He gets censored because he can't follow rules and he isn't honest.
    You'll get banned for the same nuttiness sooner or later.
    [–]ewk [-7] 1 point  
    Dude, you've got like a few more posts until you get banned.
    Maybe don't complain about people who keep you from treating everything around you like a cat litter box.
    [–]ewk [-7] 1 point  
    Right. You have a religious belief in doing whatever you like, imposing on other people, and then puffing up with pride when they throw you out for being dishonest.
    As I said...
    [–]ewk [-7] 1 point  
    Your posting history proves otherwise.


























    soccer increases testosterone !
















    [–]ewk [-7] 1 point  
    You are looking out of the window so you won't look at the room.
    Of course, most people look out windows.

    [–]ewk [-7] 2 points  
    I don't believe in wasting time, so that's your first problem.
    I think it's funny that you'd bring that belief in here, to a house where the name over the door signifies a family of people who spend their whole lives talking about something they laughing tell you can't be talked about.
    It's like you've never read a book. Well, maybe you'll fall in love someday.
    [–]ewk [-7] 3 points  
    Take you religion somewhere where people want to buy it.
    Here, your preaching sounds shrill, deeply unhappy, and generally illiterate. How can you expect anyone would want to buy it?
    Pass.
    [–]ewk [-7] 2 points  
    You started by trying to elicit sympathy, and you went to name calling when you didn't get what you wanted.
    That's not a projection... that's you and the actualization of your faith.
    [–]ewk [-7] 2 points  
    I wasn't being negative at all, that's your belief system again.
    Dogen was a fraud and Hakuin was a religious nutter. If you want to talk about Bankei you'll have to stop looking out the window.
















    i actually left college because i was so stressed, i think it was one of the best decisions i've made for myself !














    i find that willing things to stop really doesn't work, just creates a fakeness about yourself
















    i think the woman i met at furnace mountain was a foreign service officer, really upset i didn't get her email !




















    always chasing fun, the fun goes unnoticed















    my mother had been in the hospice for about a week

    and all of the family's friends came by one night to say goodbye

    they all seemed to know it was her last night, or soon to be gone anyway

    i was lost and had no idea

    well i said good night to her unknowingly, a kiss on the cheek, and she held me as i was backing away and gave me a light slap on the face

    she laughed a little and so did other people in the room

    well the next morning my brother called me and told me mom was dead

    i got there and the room smelled like decay, like it had been for the last months

    a corpse there, she was gone

    my brother on his computer

    my other brother on his phone

    my father in the lounge down the hall

    i sat on the windowsill, wondering " why am i looking out this window ? "


























    savancy madness retardation sanity
    schizophrenia autism bpd bipolar



















    i actually worked in the kitchen in 2013 for several weeks, i thought you were one of the harder workers ! it's nice to see that you've seen what bullshit it is to work "for your place"
    i remember the kitchen crew used to do clean up after lunch and dinner and many times i would just forget and walk out of the dining area to go lay down on my floor bed, others would get so upset !
    yeah the literal posturing during meditation is insanity, the head meditation leader, greg fain who i found to be an utter moron, was definitely in the wrong place ! it was funny that he and his wife lived together, probably had sex often, but it needed to be approved by them for anyone else to !
    the whole place is a mess, the fakeness, the disgusting food, the meiji construct of it all !


















    joko beck

    " You and I know there’s nothing that’s going to make me run away faster than somebody who comes around and wants to be helpful. You know what I mean? I don’t want people to be helpful to me. I just want to live my own life. "






















    when you take things step by step, it becomes less complicated !






















    zaddar1talking to at work
    expand allcollapse all
    [–]to zaddar1 sent 
    got one after work from the head garden lady, they do these meetings on Fridays for an hour, probably about bullshit, I'm the only one not in the meeting, and they must've talked about me because the manager and that garden lady think I'm going too slow 
    I am slow, at the same time they must make more than double what I do, and what do they do different besides some planning ? sure, they have knowledge about it

    stupidly used my head at soccer tonight, still feel it an hour later 
    the guy who owns the farm goes with me most of the time, told him that I still felt it and he said " I was surprised you did that, that was a long drive, I was gonna say "you're not getting any smarter !" "

    slow but thorough at work, they don't appreciate me !









    at first i could only sit down for fifteen minutes, now it can be an hour or more

    actually I've been going to bed at 9 and usually I don't fall asleep till 10 or 11

    for me, usually, I just lay there and whatever I think I think, after a while it gets easier in a way


    yesterday I went for a walk, ended up at a small river and I got into my boxers and went for a dip, there were red river flowers around and blackberries hanging over the water














    beauty fades, what else have you got ?


     andrew's addition


    “ the beauty of my children ”













    i realized tonight that i'm still getting used to calling this place 'home' and it's been more than four months


















    do the pros outweigh the cons in regards to living ?


    i don't know




















    " that microbiome stuff, it's just people trying to sell you something ! "





    that's schizophrenic thinking !


    ( a vegan trying to 'convert' people )





















    portugaportugal
    expand allcollapse all
    [–]to portuga sent 
    do you live there ? my parents are from the northern town of montalegre, in fact my dad is there now
    [–]from portuga sent 
    Yeah, I do, near Porto. Montalegre is a beautiful town, have you visited? I get the sense you live abroad
    [–]to portuga sent 
    i'm from the u.s., just moved from New York to Massachusetts, both states have a lot of Portuguese people
    yeah I used to visit almost every year until i was 13 l, haven't been there since
    tickets to Porto are actually very cheap from JFK right now, $650
    my dad is actually building a house in montalegre right now with a view of the castle !
    [–]from portuga sent 
    So your parents were born here but moved to the US? That's cool, great opportunity for you, we're just a notch up from 3rd world. But I get it you have the genes :) you'll enjoy your retirement here (and you'll be lucky)
    [–]to portuga sent 
    well my dad will enjoy his retirement there ! yeah things are quite different there in portugal, especially rurally like in montalegre
    my portuguese is actually very poor, my spanish is better, how did you get your english to be so good ?
    [–]from portuga sent 
    Don't worry, your genes will kick in once you move to portugal :) But no rush.. As for my english, we didn't have money to dub all the english movies we saw, only for subtitles, so that maybe explains a lot. But I've always read a lot of english books, from a young age, and interacted with a lot of english people. I make lots of mistakes, though, and learn new things on a regular basis
    [–]to portuga sent 
    very cool ! will contact you if i visit portugal if that's all right !


















    " what do you write about ? "



    thought you'd ask that

    what ever i want really




















    what you write is your creation








    sanely insane
    insanely sane
    andrew's  comment
     intensely unsane !







    sanely insane

    insanely sane




















    " we've been watching you, you're like the leader of all your friends ? "


    no, that's not me





















    i've been saving images, pictures or paintings, to my ' pictures ' folder

    i set my screensaver to run my pictures folder, so now it's like have a personal art gallery






















    [–]zaddar1 [+97]7th patriarch[F] 1 point  

    what zen is about frightens people, its really something on nothing, but nothing is what it is really about !

    so people spend their time weaving something to cover the imagined emptiness of nothing !

    [–]ewk [-6] 1 point  
    Mental health problems don't frighten me.
    I encourage you to consult a mental health professional about your religious experiences and online conduct.




















    andrew:

    entertainment is a drug, you go into it and never come out again



    me:

    it's too true, i've been stuck watching these crap youtube videos for at least a month now

    i'd be so much better off reading

    well it's better to watch than to play the game i suppose

































































    1. i was thinking about opening a meditative center and wanted to see what you think about that, if it was something you might want to get involved in


      and sometimes i have a question to ask you and don't know where i can
      Delete
    2. I think meditating in one's house or natural scenery is better -- there's no need to get communal about it if there's no significant money involved.

      You can ask me questions here.
    3. even if it's not significant money, it beats working in a warehouse, and for me a farm



      Tassajara rakes in money ! some teachers, like Lisa cairns, do as well
      Delete
    4. jason, i read one of the teachers at tassajara made a substantial donation to keep the place going, it actually ran out food because it had no money to pay for groceries

      lisa cairns's payoff will come when she marries some idiot wealthy devotee, otherwise she just scrapes by i think!

      its not like the old days, i really don't see any of them making much, jeff foster might be doing the best, but jesus he looks fatigued !

      there's a million housewives setting up "non duality" shops, the markets flooded and with all those husbands supporting their nonsense its too competitive !
    5. This comment has been removed by the author.
    6. Jason, best to keep spiritual matters & business separate:

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d8/1610_Cecco_del_Caravaggio_Christ_expulses_money_changers_anagoria.JPG

      ... lest we sully the spirit with the mud of the worldly

      The business world functions differently: everything has to be efficient, calculated, optimized, anticipated, filed, recorded ... and one has to strive towards more profit. This is the Way of profit-making

      The Way of the spirit, as I see it, involves more meaningless, aimless roaming, wandering, experimenting, and also involves a lot of... wasteful? especially wasting time and also resources

      So it seems they're 2 entirely different logic of life involved, one borders on the illogical?

      That's why the monastery institution was useful perhaps, but it's impossible today, especially in the West.

      I think it's best to learn a marketable skill like programming, work from home, and if you want, devote the rest of the day to completely unburdened pursuit of truth?

      In this way you don't have to worry if the people coming to your center are donating or not

      And then one donates more than others, and will you devote more time to him? Or he will go away? And then you need to show impartiality but at the same time you need to devote a little more time to the guy donating the money otherwise he'll leave and your center will die?

      That kind of stuff ... do you really want to deal with all that?
    7. (Also, I think we only need to endure for 10 more years before Western countries will start implementing a guaranteed basic income for all policy. Then you won't have to work to survive. This is not some wishful thinking, it's just what will happen. Thousands are out of a job in China every day as China moves to fully automatized, robotized factories. There's a Fourth Industrial Revolution incoming. Driverless trucks are here - millions of truck drivers will lose jobs soon. Where will they go? Look at this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf7IEVTDjng --- I say in 10 to 15 years, unemployment will reach such levels that a guaranteed basic income for all will be an absolute necessity. Everybody is already discussing it, and Silicon Valley is pushing for it.)
    8. This comment has been removed by the author.
    9. This comment has been removed by the author.
    10. "unemployment will reach such levels that a guaranteed basic income for all will be an absolute necessity."

      No, what will happen is a lot of people will die, trying to make ends meet, in an increasingly hypercompetitive society. Society will become more hypercompetitive, as the job market's demands change, in order to compensate for technological unemployment.

      There is a possibility smaller countries with more tight-knit communities will apply guaranteed basic income, but the USA's elite do not care about the well-being of their people.
    11. boston dynamics has been doing cool stuff for a while now

      i haven't read much on universal basic income, i'd welcome it from what i do know !

      i see problems in every career i choose, there's just sometimes better options, like in programming i probably wouldn't be happy, but with a center it's something i could be happy with just there wouldn't be much money, if any

      i'd be okay being in lisa cairns shoes, traveling, enough money to feel somewhat comfortable, better than where i'm at !
      Delete
    andrew:

    your preference for toxic, highly autistic females is the/ one of the most disturbing things about you !

    me:

    i don't know, i find them interesting

    maybe i haven't met a high quality woman ?













    so my friend from my home town just had a nose job done, she's 21

    i was sort of shocked when i heard, every one seems pretty accepting of it

    i thought my nose was too big for a while, but i got over it !
























    concussions are scary really !
























    edvard munch ' despair '

    painted a year before ' scream ' !

    it was interesting how he'd have multiple versions of paintings, this one has a separate title name to scream though ! 























    [–]to  sent 
    hi,
    i read that you live in El Salvador on r/zen, that's pretty cool ! i'm currently in Massachusetts, USA myself but one of my goals is to travel to south/Central America
    how did you end up there ?
    are diseases like chagas and Zika a daily concern to you ?
    do you work there or are you living from saved money ?
    yeah i speak some Spanish and i think i'd like to do something similar to what you're doing one day !
    [–]from  sent 
    Hi, thanks for the message.
    To answer your question, I ended up here because I wanted to travel and flights were cheap to San Salvador. I wasn't actually planning to stay in El Salvador but met a girl on the beach and she took me back to her village in the mountains.
    Zika isn't on the radar for me, or any other diseases or issues. Although my perspective of life is different than most, and I don't have any concerns. However, speaking pragmatically, all the travelers that come through here, the most they get is stomach sick. I've been stomach sick myself a few times, it's common when traveling to poorer countries with less strict health standards, and there's medicine for it an it usually goes away in a few days.
    Again, I wasn't planning to "work" but it sort of happened that way. Although what I'm doing is more similar to workaway.info I hangout in a hostel a few days a week in exchange for free accommodation and good. Most people wouldn't need to, but I was relatively poor when I started traveling with only $2600 save up for 4 months, and I've extended the trip another 4 so decided to do this so I wouldn't dip into the red too much. You can get by here quite cheaply though. I'm eating quite well (cheeses, chicken breast, yogurt , etc.) for under $10 a day. Locals here make between $8-10 for a days work.
    If you have some money saved up it's a great place to come hangout. So beautiful, and highly underrated.
    Anymore questions, feel free to ask.
    Cuidate
    [–]to  sent 
    may i ask what area you're located in ?
    and what age you're around ?
    what do you do at the hostel ? do you also live somewhere else ? do you have internet at both locations if that's the case ?
    [–]to  sent 
    are you american ? are there other americans around where you live ?
    [–]from  sent 
    I'm a 33 year old Canadian. As for westerners, I'm friends with a Brit, some Finish girls, another Canadian and an American girl in my town. I live on the Ruta De Las Floras. https://www.lonelyplanet.com/el-salvador/western-el-salvador/ruta-de-las-flores

    At the hostel I mainly just hangout, and check guests in and am there to answer questions about tours, etc. I have friends that stop by during the day to play backgammon or have some coffee. It's really chill. There's always a steady stream of backpackers to hangout with too. For example, spent time with a girl from Seattle for a few days last week, and went to waterfalls nearby with some New Zealanders on the weekend.
    I don't live at the hostel, I live in a house. Internet is abundant here. They also offer relatively inexpensive wireless pay as you go.
    Volunteer hours with workaway.info is about 20 hours a week. It depends on where and what you're doing. It also varies the quality of accommodation and amount of food. Here, I don't get much food other than what's left at the hostel when guests check out, but I get everything to do with household expenses covered. I've had other gigs, like in the Canary Islands, where I lived on a large finca that was used to host airbnb style travelers and meditation retreats. I had my own apartment there, all meals were provided free (including many meals in restuarants), and was given €250 a month, and just did some yard work for a few hours in the morning on weekdays. Of course lot all volunteer positions will be that level of awesome, but there are a tonne on there with a spiritual/living in nature slant to them.
    [–]to  sent 
    thanx for being open about your living situation
    it sounds very nice, and i might be tempted to move there if i didn't have a good set up over here ! i do plan on moving to new mexico one day, and hopefully doing some travelling in new zealand and south america




















    i am silent

    the various bugs make their calls








    andrew:


    red flags in the evaluation of a relationship partner are
    health problems
    any addiction history, alcohol or pot or otherwise
    addiction problems can be very disguised, similarly for health problems
    promiscuity
    deceit !!!!
    i might add by the way, ancedotally and from reading r/askdocs is the level of concealment of stdʼs and plain dishonesty on the subject is beyond belief !
    you can learn a lot from facebook and their web presence, just keep scrolling for all the info you can glean !
    what sort of friends on facebook do they have, are they the usual copy and paste rah rah or sickly sentimental flakes ?
    my god the mentality of these people makes one puke !
    the web is so selective for total hubric arseholes, one needs to be s o o  careful !
    anyway if the potential relationshipee has a web presence and facebook can be enough, you see quite a bit of their character and the failings will jump out at you, the only problem is you  “ need to believe ”  what you see, something the male mind is not very good at when it comes to women !
    because modern social norms constantly place us in the company of people who we know nothing of their background, one has to move very slowly to build up this knowledge, everyone is a past master of concealing their flaws !





















    when i write something on reddit zen, or publicly, i have this urge to delete it right away

    i don't want to deal with the barrage of idiots, if they show up























    andrew :





    the way of the female
    is to lay in wait
    for
    the
    male
    a trap
    sheʼs not conscious of it
    the maleʼs brain is ready to enwrapt itself !
    the maleʼs brain is ready to enwrapt/capture itself !
    the maleʼs brain ensnares/snares itself !
    the maleʼs brain snares/ensnares itself !

    here things are tough but

    they're mostly always tough.

    basically I'm just trying to get along

    with the female, when you

    first meet them their eyes

    are all moist with under-

    standing; laughter abounds

    like sand fleas. then, Je-

    sus, time tinkles on and

    things leak. they

    start BOOMING out DEMANDS.

    and, actually, what they

    demand is basically contrary to what-

    ever you are or could be.

    what's so strange is the sudden

    knowledge that they've never

    read anything you've writ-

    ten, not really read it at

    all. or worse, if they have,

    they've come to SAVE

    you! which means mainly

    wanting you to act like everybody

    else and be just like them

    and their friends. mean-

    while they've sucked

    you up and wound you up

    in a million webs, and

    being somewhat of a

    feeling person you can't

    help but remember their

    good side or the side

    that at first seemed to be good.

    and so you find yourself

    alone in your

    bedroom grabbing your

    gut and saying, o, shit

    no, not again.

    we should have known.

    maybe we wanted cotton

    candy luck. maybe we

    believed. what trash.

    we believed like dogs

    believe.




















    had a brownie, almost instant degregation in thinking !
















    " you're an asshole "



    yeah ?












    [–]to zaddar1 [+94] sent 
    stds really are a problem with my generation, i've had opportunities with h. types but never went too far because std was in the back of my mind
    i feel a lot better speaking my mind to her

     this girl tried to sleep with me and when i didn't she admitted the following days that she was considering having a std !

















    I don't know who the fuck you are
    me neither !














    " i was observing you, you have no emotion "

    when we were laughing as we walked into cvs, when we were laughing reading poetry, and when i lightly brushed your toes, that was emotion too

     i admit though, i could show some more emotion
















    i'm not sure why i singled out such a damaged woman

    schizophrenia is a real thing and so is std !















    " are you psychic ? "


    jus observant really








    there's no way one person can be better than another, we are all incomparable because we are all our own worlds separated by infinite space













    life isn't as glamorous as we might want it to be














    " know not a person by what they tell you, but by what they don't tell you ! "










    andrew:


    the real is not the ultimate  !
    the imaginary is the ultimate  !
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