what's with christians obsession in 'looking into the future', raptures and more minor future stuff ?

jesus can't come back if he never existed !













not looking forward to working long weeks on a farm, there will be some positives like being outside











the good think about conversation in writing compared to talking is that you have time to think about what you'd like to say











give people some scrutiny and they react like they're about to die, they treat you like shit and they won't even notice

bastards these people











stomach has been such a mess i hardly want to get out of bed










meister eckhart teaching













zakaj may have an eye for authenticity but he doesn't have much of a brain ! so you recognized the authentic but you fucked up your chance of conversation with him

" go and learn sanskit with gabriel pradipaka "

ouch











me reading two poems

on the edge

alone my whole life

careful, a song might play after the mp3 is done playing and it might be loud













vice's ove knausgaard interview

he and charles bukowski both like celine

walking alongside the house

a moment of respite










weather this, weather that

these people are just looking for an excuse to blab their spit into the air










round 2 stomach virus, same week

this bitch I delivered to was on her cellphone outside when I pulled in, whining " I just can't deal with stomach viruses blah blah "

I tried to keep my distance but I guess that isn't enough










xyz : which teacher read your giver essay and didn't get it and then got a phd ?

me : mr. c

xyz : i never liked him

me : fake as it gets

xyz : i remember he like really embarrassed becca in front of the whole class for not being able to read fluently when she's dyslexic. cathy got involved and he got in a shit ton of trouble
he was such a dick












denmark's forest kindergartens, i think i would've preferred going there rather than normal school as a child, and more preferred to not go to any school













i heard leonard cohen's " i'm your man " while out delivering tonight

just interesting that this guy would end up living at a zen monastery

would make sense that he would be part of a sex club with a song like that









the day i realized i had patience was when i was about 6, my mother and i were waiting for our flight to portugal when i thought to myself ' i finally have patience '

when i was younger than that i was jumpy, couldn't wait to get out of the car or for getting on or off flights, i guess after that i didn't complain as much











ikkyu15 explaining his story of how he came to zen










been wasting my time this last week, not reading and watching crappy youtube videos

doesn't help that i've had a nasty stomach ache










dave was telling me about " the wall " when i was at his place in massachusetts 


it reminds me of a story i wrote while in middle school, we were asked to write and ending to " the giver " by lois lowry

well my ending was that the main character escapes the utopia community he was trapped in, goes through some tundra plains only to be greeted by an invisble wall that he's not able to go through

the teacher said he didn't understand, so i changed it to an invisible electric wall that would shock you if you touched it, and was impossible to get around

still he didn't get it he said, years later this teacher went on to get a ph.d










magnesium taurate tough on the stomach, yeah i agree








guess i got on sepehr's good side, anyway helpful to find that chatroom where i can find books, probably shouldn't spend any money on something that can be found for free








video edited by /u/nixonisnotacrook

waves of depression, i'm not even any good at hiding it

zen retreats were somewhat interesting, but from this point on i think i'd rather vacation by myself

and luckily soon i'll be living by myself

i'd like to write on r/zen, but i don't have the experience i want to take on the idiots

i used to think i wanted to be fully conscious and 'awake', now i realize that i want to be naturally unconscious  

andrew figured out all this health stuff by researching it himself, there's a lot to be gained there, unfortunately it started somewhat late in his life

with me i'm lucky that that andrew is willing to share all the information and experience he's gathered and also starting at a younger age, but i don't have the benefit of researching it all myself

most people don't find health research and application interesting, i find it all too interesting, maybe a bit too complex as well !

a stomach ulcer, i knew something would get me, if it was to be headaches or ulcers, guess my damnation continues !

liking the kneeling chair so far, this is how i prefer to sit but in a regular chair it's a bit awkward !

good to strengthen my back too !

is the world out to kill me ?