they're talking about a vacuum
and i can't stop staring
at the sun setting
filling the room
with a golden sunlight
this was in portugal when i was young, they were talking about how the vacuum was broken and they needed to use the warranty to get someone there to fix it. i was a bit upset because i didn't want anyone else to be there, so young my dislike of people manifested
what was special about that moment was how the sunlight was shining in
i have these certain memories from my life that are vivid, somewhere in my teens i said to myself "i'm going to forget most of these things" and i did because my memory was failing, thanks to andrew and his health info these memories are coming back
flickr album 11/6/2015
will i ever take as nice of photos as rob?
when i first watched these two videos months ago, i was bewildered
lars von trier interview
andrew's black stream poem
what caused my confusion? and why is it that now i watch these videos and i see two men so human, much more than i?
is it that i have a background? and a background in meditation? i think so
what's incredible is the density with andrew levin, lars von trier, virginia woolf, charles bukowski
it seems almost endless, i keep looking and reading these people and it's never ending, there is so much to them. they aren't the normality that can be read so easily, there's decades of work with all of these people
where will i be in 10 years? 20 years? 30 years?
i say: I didn't know what silent illumination was really
andrew replies: the real shikantaza churns yourself, for just about everybody this state/condition is to be strenuously avoided so they create third party systems like "silent illumination" and "koan study" to proxy their time so they themselves are never subjected to the trauma of C H A N G E
these two poems of andrew levin are the ones that have stayed in my memory
"a starlit night
no moon
across the paddock
the sound of cattle
working the fences"
"the sun
sparkling on the sea
has no room for men labouring on it's shores
hush
and listen to the clear stream
flowing over mossy banks"
Who is Rob?
ReplyDeleteI have certain vivid memories too.
I will check out that Lars Von trier clip later, too much people around right now (I'm not at home)
rob creighton, guy on reddit zen https://www.reddit.com/user/love0_-d0ve
ReplyDeletepictures: http://creightonwrites.deviantart.com/
here's his music: https://soundcloud.com/creightonmusic
nice colours too
ReplyDeletelooking through the photos of the natl wildlife refuge it made me think "what a nice clear day" and now these colours match that day
the colour of your banner! just a simple shade of blue.
I just left mine the same. I think I shied away from art because someone else was better than me or someone laughed at me too once and that damaged me, made me throw out my piece I did when I was a kid. Then a few years later I found some guys that drew way better than I did then I gave up completely, I think. I became hesitant to do it again.
back to that time when i was laughed at for my drawing i was also pretty good at almost everything else I think in school. I remember this time where this girl and I were going neck and neck in math, clearly outpacing the rest of the kids and our teacher allowed to go ahead because we kept asking her if we could, so eager to learn. anyways i came back after christmas break and i found out she got way ahead of me (my classmate) and i gave up on math after that haha. well i gave up on trying to pass her, didn't really traumatize me. After that I focused on grammar and spelling kind of work and got far ahead on that.
your writings pretty good too i think way better than mine. i think it's because you don't fuck around... or don't fuck around as much as me... i knew you would get real good real quick.
i think i like andrew's one liners the best, the ones on his homepage and this one:
a moonlit night just hanging there forever !
and yeah i'm not really into this whole art film thing like you guys... i try but i just zone out right away, to my detriment?
in terms of the vivid memories there's some here and there but i'm not sure how to put them into words
they seem pretty mundane, those certain moments, but when they happened they felt very special
they go as fast as they came, like a gentle wind swooshing in your ears, those moments
you have a good memory
Deletei used to be good at math, then somewhere i lost interest, i guess i didn't want to put the work in. i'd get the highest grades in writing when i wrote about myself
if you look at charles bukowski's art it's not done skillfully imo, just there's a lot there. i don't understand most of them
http://bukowski.net/paintings/
sometimes when you write i think you write like me, same thing i get with andrew sometimes. you deny it but maybe our brains are similar in some way