when you're strong

doubt

when you're weak

doubt






















it's all recurring bullshit !






















do you have anything to say ? or is it just a bigger mistake ? considering it's all a mistake























BCD is helping my overall health very much so, it shows while i'm playing soccer as i'm running all over the field and hardly get winded ! also thinking better which leads to better plays











i'm making progress, but i'm a man unchanged !

[–]to zaddar1 [+94] sent 1 day ago

i brought my brother and sister in law to meet dave and his girlfriend to see dave's property, he has foundation down to build a new house there and i'd like to help him with that process so i could learn something

anyway my sister in law was saying how my father is handy and how my brother and i aren't, well i pointed out that my father has 40 years of experience over me and i use the same logic when i ask you questions because i figure you have at least 35 years of experience over me, even real experience of zen

[–]from zaddar1 [+94] sent 16 hours ago

some people learn their entire lives, most don't

however you are definitely an "intellectual" type person, you will always be able to see things that are utterly beyond others !

everything is just an ever changing view

with zen there appear to be two quite different modes, those who copy and proxy and those who integrate it into their lives . .

sometimes i wish there were more time in a day













linda bukowski interview, where she is asked if she thinks charles was happy with the way his life turned out

LB: He was happy the way his life turned out. He was. Because he opened up all the doors and windows of his house. He opened up not the front, only the front, the back, the side. He opened up the attic, he, you know, went into the crawl spaces. He hung out in all these places, and he breathed it in, the dust from all those rooms. And he was able to breathe it out again on paper. And he had to keep doing that. That was his life breath. That's what came from him. And that's what he breathed in and out.

the stupid gather and the smart stay home !
















what's worse, talking about guns or zombies ?














two golden horses, one stationery and one flying up into the sky















if someone calls them self crazy, believe them
















why should i imagine ?

even if it will never be true










it's tough to do the right thing when you have nothing to do the right thing for

[–]from zaddar1 [+94] sent 8 minutes ago

you will always be on the edge of survival, to support the existance of another imperils your own

i've been attracted to these damaged sort of girls for so long

i was like 12 and i met this girl who was 16 or 17 and she would call me at night

we would talk about sex, w.e

girl was messed up

so was i

' most people don't realize how much energy is wasted on talking '













what i was holding myself back from saying

" why are you trying to bother me ? "















i feel better when i'm reading quality stuff, like the recent postings on the 7th zen patriarch blog about dante's 'inferno' and khalil gibran and his writings





















i am a broken puzzle piece that will never fit into the communal paradigm !

reading






had some good yogurt this morning from sidehill farm, the yogurt was almost yellow, their jams are good too besides the extra sugar they add in


























met two other artists this last weekend at a 4th of july family/friends barbeque

well, they're okay, they put on a good show, thy didn't really use slang at the party like they do in their rap

i told one of them i wrote after he told me about his rap group and i warned him that i only write crazy shit, he didn't ask how he could read any of it, my sister in law did though !

one of the rap artists started yelling out trivia questions during dinner and singing patriotic songs















you tell people, they don't want to know











walking out of the pizzeria i came up with the poem, i repeated it a couple of times but didn't write it down, a year and a half later i'm still beating myself up over it



















i didn't think i was making much progress with my health, but when i went to long island for the weekend and i saw myself in my old mirror, there really was a difference from before !
















i think charles bukowski and i have a lot in common, even stomach problems


















i'm ' howl at the world ' mad


















' jason masters zen '

well, doesn't feel too different to put words to it, it doesn't stop here though !



















am on long island for the weekend, feeling a bit depressed ?

any way, ever since zakaj and andrew criticized sepehr for his projections into his cats i've noticed that my dogs here on long island don't have as much personality as i previously thought they did

to say cats have a larger scope than humans is insane



















personally, i think im sorta shit, but comparatively ...










an old friend of mine was joking on her snapchat story that how her friend felt at work was "wanting a husband"

that's sorta disgusting really










haven't noticed the sunset, too busy staring at the computer screen or the ceiling

andrew's

c o m m e n t

how difficult can zen be ?  jason just follows lines of inquiry in a certain direction and develops from there . .

and then thereʼs reddit zen, so much wrong minded energy ! : o)

it only takes one person to really disagree with you and all your energy goes into futilely arguing with them, i think thatʼs why its so important that the 7th zen patriarch blog is basically friendly !

 lana del rey singing ' cherry blossoms ' to her instagram fans

hours behind a screen, i hope i'm gaining something

a wide brimmed hat manages to keep a lot of flying insects away from your head !